I just closed comissions, art trades and requests for an undetermined amount of time
Why? Because lately I feel like I lost my freedom regarding my drawings and I want to draw what I want to when I want to again...
What I mean by this is that I feel like I'm no longer drawing for myself, for fun, but rather for other people. I know I sound like a big hypocrite since my last journal was a poll to know what is more popular among my watchers but that's the thing: I tought that more popularity (more comments, more favourites, and all that) would make me feel better and give me more motivation but the thing is that it didn't
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love comments and talking to you guys discussing ideas and stuff, and I truly appreciate all my watchers and favourites on my works, but at the same time I feel like I'm drawing for people instead of drawing for myself and showing it to people. I just want to get back to drawing what I want to draw, when I want to draw. That's why I even closed commissions and art trades (even though I love art trades with all my heart), because I want to have that feeling of freedom again...
The last time I took a "break" I actually lost followers both in here and on Tumblr, and that saddened me so much that I quickly came back from my break just to try to win them over again, yet this past few days I have come to realize that it's not your popularity that defines your artistic level, and that you should do art because you want to, not beacuse you are "forced" to do it. So this time I don't care how many followers I lose: this is an hobby for me, not something I live off (I don't get paid and my comissions DEFINITELY don't allow me to live off artworks because of how cheap and rare they are), so I'll draw and post for the same reason I started drawing and posting: to have fun
I will now do what I want to when I want to.
-I don't feel like drawing this week? I won't draw. I will draw when I want to.
-I don't feel like taking comissions? I won't take them.
-I don't feel like posting the next page of this comic of mine even though it has been months since I last posted one? I won't, I'll post it when I want to.
-I want to post fan art of something not that popular for weeks and leave the more popular things behind? I'll do it, I will draw what I want and like until I get tired of it, no matter how unpopular it is and how people would like me to draw something else.
I know some of my followers won't like this and perhaps won't even understand my reasons, yet I am the artist and this is my decision. It took me a while to understand that I owe nothing to no one and that I prefer having fun to being popular or having more money.
From now on I will do things my way however I see fit, and I don't care about what anyone else thinks.
I am the artist.
My artworks, my rules.